hug me till you drug me, honey

recently, for whatever reason, i've been thinking of how it all happened. and i mean, i can't blame him, because i was the one who didn't want anything more. i still don't. nothing beyond friendship unless i am certain. but now, i've lost that friendship. is that fair? you'll forgive me if i can't help but admit that i feel as though it was ingenuine, if, in fact, you traded it in because you didn't receive all that you were going for.

oh, yes, and the betrayal.
see, i've never really been betrayed before.
i've been hurt, damaged, betrayed to various degrees,
but never quite so extensively, i don't think.
it certainly is different on a whole new level.
i wonder if we shall ever make amends.
i wonder if i want to try.
i don't know. difficult to say. fuzzy line. et cetera.
i wonder if any of us might ever try.
i wonder if you think it's worth it. oh, dumb question, you've already decided.
well, i don't really know what to say, except that you handled the situation terribly.
see, i had thought that we were still friends.
guess not. =/
so what, were you pretending, and then stopped?
sigh.
why don't you take my winchester and just stab me in the sternum. oh, that bone marrow. no, next to my heart, thank you, that way i can suffer with the fact that you missed.


i can tell you why a chair is a chair.