you like to think you're never wrong

I'm tired of being disappointed.
I'm tired of dealing with you for the past eighteen years.
I'm tired of you being impossible. I'm tired of you not listening, of you not explaining, of you blowing up. I'm tired of you getting red in the face and I'm tired of you pissing the heck out of me. I'm tired of you being angry without any plausible explanation, and I'm tired of you fuming like a fucking child, and I'm tired of the fact that when I ask you, quite calmly, to tell me why you're angry, you have nothing to say to me. You have nothing to say to me because you have no answer, and all you do is stand there and glare because that is all you know. What is it, Father? Why won't you tell me? I don't understand. Why won't you tell me the reason? Why won't you give me answer? Over and over again, why? I am tired of your temper, I am tired of the blood that runs through my veins that came from you. I am tired, I am fucking, beyond reason, irrationally tired of how furious you make me, of how easily you drive me to tears the way nobody else can, and it is exceptional indeed that you have done so for the entirety of my life, how there are two others you helped to conceive but it is I who has suffered the blunt of your knife. It is I who ran and hid, when all around me life went on, because nobody else needed to run and hide. Perhaps I am stronger for it, but was it worth it, Daddy dearest?
I am tired of lies.
I am tired of broken promises.
But despite the exhaustion within me, despite how tired I am, there is nothing I'm going to do about it.