all that glitters is gold

more proof that bad things happen to good people in the world.

i'm going fucking insane. i can't get my mind off what i need to do.
i didn't even realize how bad it was, but it seems that this is all i've thought about lately.
i'm going through potential money-making prospects like crazy.
help!

things were better today than they were yesterday, or the day before,
or the day before that one,
or the past month in general.
not better like it was somehow wonderful, but
better because it wasn't as shitty.
don't worry, we're going to figure this out.
it always feels good,
better,
to talk about something hanging on your mind with someone.
that is, someone that you're supposed to talk about it with.
cause it was just there, being ignored, being avoided,
and i like to get things out in the open.
i break down easily when i do, but i feel better afterward.

so, here's what's going on with me:
-ap govt/econ, may be slipping
-ap english, potentially behind on as you like it
-drama, try out for fall play?
-ap calc ab, definitely slipping
-ap stats, i depend on open book
-we need to talk, heh
-jca: anime screening, make a difference day, unicef, liveright, calendar, how is this related to japanese culture? who knows
-shanghai, hk, huadu: i need to raise approximately 1500 for plane tickets and possible expenses
-get a passport and visa, which, surprise surprise, costs money
-college: applications
-sat Is on oct 14, first retake
-sat IIs on nov 4, english lit, math IIc, first time retaking both
-scholarships?
-save up 1500 for college in addition to financial aid
-save money for birthdays, christmas, birthdays, grad nite, birthdays, prom, birthdays

//hey, don't ever go suicidal please.