don't ask me to walk away

Michele: Did you know that keeping a cell phone in your pocket lowers your sperm count?
Daniel: What the fuck?! ::rips phone out of pocket and throws it five feet away::

Ah.
shitshitshit.
Okay, Shanghai and Huadu.
I was calculating and figuring that if I could make approximately 2000 by the end of June, I would able to make the trip. About 1000 for plane tickets and 1000 for spending?
But we have a problem: after next week, my kid starts an after-school program and they don't need me anymore.
Now, while this opens up opportunities for me that I had been rejecting because of work, I also now lack income.
Fuck!
I got into a fight with my mom earlier too.
I will be extremely miserable if somehow I fail to meet my goal and I don't make it this summer.
God damn it.
JEEZ.
I don't know what to do!! If I find another job, I'm concerned about transportation.
ARGH.
"this is that important to you huh"
It really is. I don't know why.
Well, that's a lie, of course I know why.
It's supposed to be the BEST SUMMER EVER.
I've never been out of the U.S., and can you imagine anything more spectacular
than to spend a month in Asia with some of my favorite people in the world?
I've been so pumped up about this trip.
Ridiculously excited, because it's so far away but I've been absofrickinglutely determined to make sure it happens.
It is one of the few good things going on in my life.
Because everything else is shit down the drain.
Now, I realize shit doesn't go down the drain, it goes down the toilet, but imagine if shit got clogged going down a drain. EW, right?
Well, that's how I feel.
But I have this. And I WANT IT.
I WANT IT SO BADLY.
Gahhhhh.
I have to make it happen.
I have to make it happen.