so I don't forget.

The other night, I dreamt that you had returned. You were dead, but you didn't know it, and you were corporeal. And I hugged you so tightly. I was so scared that if I let go, you would disappear on me again.

It wasn't really a night dream. It was a dream in the morning, on Sunday, and I think the only reason I remember it is because my brain was stirring to the noises of my house, and I was waking up, and I was fighting to stay asleep. It makes me wonder: do you come to visit me in my dreams often, and I just don't remember them? I don't remember most of my dreams.

Had another one, though. I vaguely remember this one coming after. Today is technically Monday night (Tuesday morning), so I guess this one must have occurred Sunday night - Monday morning. This one wasn't pleasant at all. You were injured in a ditch, and you called me for help, but I couldn't understand you. Then we hung up and you called your parents. I don't know if anything happened next, but it changed the situation, so that the last person you ever talked to was your mom and dad, and not me. I don't know why my brain decided to do that. I guess since your phone wasn't on you, I can only make the assumption that you didn't call anyone after me. I can only assume that I am the last person you ever spoke to.

My heart is heavy. Sometimes, I feel like I'm out of tears, because I feel so dry-eyed and stoic. But I think that my heart is a separate entity, and it is still crying, still sobbing, even when I'm not.