not for the life of me

lie lie lie. All you do is lie. I didn't ask for it; you offered it to me. You brought it up to me and said, "Hey, would you want us to?" I didn't ask for shit. I never ask. I never fucking ask for anything. I hate to ask. You offered. So when I checked today to see how it was going, there was absolutely no fucking reason for you to fucking blow up at me. All of a sudden it's "We can't afford it! Don't think you can have it just because you asked for it." FUCK YOU. I DIDN'T FUCKING ASK. WHY DO YOU CONTINUALLY DO THIS TO ME? OVER AND OVER AGAIN. FUCK.YOU.FUCK.YOU. i never asked. Don't you get it? It was like this with the car. It was like this with China. I had never wanted anything more desperately in my entire life, and you took it from me. You couldn't even listen for one damn second. If it's not one of you, it's the other. What the fuck is it with you and false hope? I fucking...swear to Verra, I...

I'm breathing. I'm leaving. It'll be okay.
I'm going, going, gone.


Whatever, fuck it. I'm going to make something of myself, with or without you.
I'm going to get where I want to be, with or without you.
Part of me feels like I've lost this summer. I should have rightly been somewhere else. But I'm not. Because of you two. Because of your lies.
Well, it's what I make of it.