Well, duh.

Someone just said something to me that made a whole lot of sense-- that if I had the balls to come to UCSD blind, without any previous visits, then I should have no problem going to China to teach for a year.

So I should stop being terrified every time I look at it too closely, and grow a pair. A second pair, I guess, since I probably used up my previous invisible balls by coming to college and then going to NZ for four months.

But this time, I'm really afraid.