over it? under it?

Unfair. I totally did not think about him most of the day, and when I did, it was with little regard and mostly resignation.
Then he IMs me out of the blue. Unfair. It took me a while to notice, but when I responded, HE didn't. Did I really think I was starting to be okay? My heart rate quickened; my eyes were locked on the screen, waiting for his reply before I realized that--I was sitting there, waiting for his reply.

Eventually it came, but not before I'd had plenty of minutes to gripe about the fact that you can't up and talk to someone after such a long period of silence, and, specifically, you can't IM someone and then not talk to them.

But it did come, and I realized my palms were sweaty and all thoughts of my paper had been completely derailed. Unfair, unfair. I'm screaming at him mentally, you can't DO that to me. You can't go and remind me of you, just when I'm beginning to think I've got a handle on things. Just when I'm beginning to get a grip on school. That's NOT OKAY.

It's not, it's not...