i backed my car into a cop car the other day

Well, he just drove on, sometimes life's okay.



Where do I even begin?
I had this dream this morning, where I woke up for school and immediately my father and I started going at it. We fought until 2 PM, and by then there was no point in attending school, especially not Foods, so I didn't go.
But I woke up.
Turns out there was no point in attending Foods, anyway.
Gosh, I really wish I at least had a class with you, instead of merely passing you occasionally, sometimes talking and more often not. Why are you such a mystery? I wish, I wish. Wish for you on a falling star.
Silly, stars don't fall.
In a few months this will all be over.
And then what? We graduate and poof, just like that, we'll be gone.
Four Five Six+ of my closest friends won't even be hanging around this summer.
I hate the constant reminder that they're leaving on somewhere I desperately, desperately wanted to go. I'm not sure I've desired anything more strongly in my life.
I'm getting over that, though. You can't have everything in life.
For instance, badminton. I have to deal with whatever cards are dealt to me. There is one thing I'm looking forward to, which is our giant slumber party this Friday. Should be fun.
It's ironic; I think I'm in my best moods when I'm at school. Everything else makes me feel discouraged, upset, or angry.
What was I talking about?
Graduation. Yes.
God. That fucking dollar estimate for the cost of college at a UC...unfuckingbelievable.
And Cal Grant...LOL. The amount they gave me, ah. That's slap-on-the-knee cry-me-a-river depressing. I guess I'll spend the rest of my life swimming in loans. Or we mortgage the house, or something. My sister told me once not to go to Ohlone. I wonder if she still thinks that.
Boy, life without money is fucking shitty.
I detest whoever said money is not everything.
So what's everything? Education? A degree? To succeed in life?
How the fuck do you pay for your Verra-be-damned education when you can't afford it?
I'll just have to try harder, that's all.
Work for more. That's all.
That's all.
I just need to remember that I'm not like the rest of my world.
That's all.





Gngh. I want so much.
I'm so selfish.