AIM

It's only been a week and a half.

Jeeez...

It's not so much that I'm missing it, it's more of how I've gotten so used to signing on whenever I'm bored or I want to procrastinate, even if I end up doing nothing, but...

I don't know...

Pleh.

Maybe it's not the lack of AIM that's doing this..

it'syouit'syouit'syou

Maybe I'm just missing the typical dosage of communication to society. I could call people, but the people I want to talk to are mostly probably at church right now, or school, or something...

maybe...I'm just not thinking hard enough.

But maybe it's because I don't want to.

Which reminds of the conversation I had with Harneel a while ago, about how there are things I don't remember because I don't want to, and it's not that I'm consciously trying to forget them-- just some part of me blocks them out. I didn't used to do that...

Which also reminds me of the ralley on Friday, when the bell rang and Harneel and I were walking to class after the second assembly, and then when we got to Bylo people were already sitting there and I was thinking, "Wtf? Class already started? There was only one bell!" Bylo looked upset. Then a little later after we did the weird walk-around-the-room-with-your-group-and-write-crap-down assignment, we sat down to do other work. I was highlighting stuff (because what else do you do when you're in Bylo, of course?) when I realized that my hand was shaking. I flattened it on my desk, lifted it again. When my right hand stopped shaking, my left hand did it. It didn't actually scare me--at all. Harneel freaked out more than I did; I felt as though I were simply observing a hand that happened to be mine.

I have no idea why, but this song made me feel upset last night. Although it is possible that it wasn't the song. I love the damn instrumentals-- "Love is No Big Truth" by Kings of Convenience.

All I do is sleep all day, and think of you
A memory of the cushion life I'm clinging to
The image of a mutual one, our haven
The sombre chords of our song, the fading

Love is no big truth
Driven by our genes, we are simple selfish beings
A symphony that's you
Joyously awaking the ignorant and sleeping

Passion and its brother hate, they come and go
Could easily be made to stay for longer though
Many people play this game so willingly
Do I have to be like them, or be lonely?

Love is no big truth
Driven by our genes, we are simple selfish beings
A symphony that's you
Joyously awaking the ignorant and sleeping

I'll never need it again, again, again
I'll never need it again, again, again
I'll never need it again, again, again
I'll never need it again, again, again
...