Storytime!

My sister suggested I write this down, for posterity. 

So it all started with... I had to pick up pies in Berkeley today at 1430 for Wendy's wedding tomorrow. My mom offered to go with me, and I was thinking that might not be a bad idea, in case I can't find parking and need someone in the car. Then Thursday night, I got mandoed for Friday AM 530-1400. My mom said she and my dad would both go with me. 

I told them to pick me up at 1400, but they hit traffic and didn't get to me until 1430. Upon arrival, Mom tells me to take the front seat. No, I respond, I want to take a nap in the back. Oh ok, go ahead and nap. Hey Caroline, are you still getting EDD? (You literally just picked me up from work. Of course I'm not.) Hey Caroline, where did you put the account for Mom's Caljobs? (What on earth do you mean? It's a website. I can't "put" it anywhere.) Hey Caroline, how is Richard's restaurant doing? Hey Caroline, hey Caroline, hey Caroline...

Eventually I asked if they had any more questions and they got the hint to let me rest. I didn't quite fall asleep before we arrived at the Pie Society. Kind of. It was approaching on the right, and then my dad passed it, and he made a right turn. I thought he was going to make two more right turns and loop around, but instead, he made a U-turn and now the spot was on the wrong side of the street. He then pulls a left and I think, oh good, but instead of turning into the block where the location was, he pulls into the neighboring block, on the opposite side. I stare longingly out the window at my destination and have to do some urging, but we do finally get there.

We pick up the pies. Great. Next stop: Rich's house. I enter the address into my dad's phone, but stay alert to get him through the right freeways. Finally, we reach Mission Blvd, and I think I can rest. My mom says, out loud, "Two miles and then make a left."

Dad immediately responds, "Here?"

Every two blocks. "Here?" For two miles. "Is it here? It's here, right? This one?"

Ok. We get to Rich's house, I grab some stuff I needed, and then we make our way down to Saratoga to Sanborn Park. The pies are in the trunk. My father is a cautious driver. Initially, I am not concerned. Unfortunately, I underestimated how often he brakes. Each time, I think, oh boy, but there isn't much I can do.

Finally I fall asleep. And then my dad flies over a speed bump, jerking me awake with enough alarm for me to actually cry out. Oh man, good luck to those pies. It's out of my hands, I'm sorry.

We get to the park for the rehearsal dinner. The directions say to make a right after the kiosk and continue driving. We pass the kiosk and I say, "Turn right, Dad." "Why? There's parking right here." ... We get to the appropriate parking lot and park. There is nowhere else to drive. I point to the direction that the venue is probably located and say, "it's over there." "Keep driving there?" Says my dad. Anyway. We have Backayard for dinner, yum. Afterward, I have my mom ride home with Vicky while I go home with Dad. We stop for gas at Costco.

While at Costco, he asks me the following questions: 

Do you want to eat?

Do you have work tomorrow?

He also attempts to set up navi on the car that they have had for several years now but I'm pretty sure it isn't included and wouldn't have needed setting up. I thumb through the manual but can't find anything other than a note that suggests it wasn't included.

End scene.